The Secret to Making Someone Feel Special: A Psychological Perspective (+ TEDx Talk)
Introduction
Understanding The Topic
Sarah Dandashy’s TEDx talk, The Secret to Making Someone Feel Special, provides insightful strategies on how to foster meaningful connections. She emphasizes the power of presence, appreciation, and intentionality in making others feel valued.
Her talk highlights practical ways to enhance relationships, offering valuable takeaways for anyone looking to improve their interactions and deepen their connections with others.
The Psychology of Feeling Valued and Recognized
Social interaction is fundamental to human nature. Love and belongingness are essential for psychological health, according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Maslow, 1943). This need is met when one feels appreciated by others, which promotes emotional stability and self-worth.
According to studies, social validation triggers the release of dopamine and oxytocin, which are hormones linked to happiness and trust, through the brain’s reward system (Zaki & Williams, 2013). Additionally, receiving praise for our work boosts our self-esteem and lowers tension and anxiety (Falk & Bassett, 2017). Making others feel unique strengthens social ties and enhances mental health by reinforcing these beneficial neurobiological reactions.
The Role of Active Listening in Making Others Feel Special
Active listening is one of the best strategies to help someone feel appreciated. Maintaining eye contact, nodding, and giving thoughtful responses are all examples of actively participating in a conversation. By letting the speaker know that their opinions are valued, this technique promotes understanding and gratitude.
A study published in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that active listening enhances relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being (Bodie, 2017). In contrast, poor listening skills contribute to feelings of loneliness and emotional neglect.
How to Practice Active Listening:
- Maintain Eye Contact: This signals attentiveness and respect.
- Use Nonverbal Cues: Nodding and facial expressions show engagement.
- Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker express themselves fully before responding.
- Paraphrase for Clarity: Repeat back key points to ensure understanding.
- Ask Thoughtful Questions: Show genuine curiosity about their experiences.
By implementing these strategies, we create meaningful connections and help others feel truly heard and valued.
The Power of Personalized Gestures
Personalization is key to making someone feel special. When we recall and acknowledge minor things about someone, like their favourite coffee order, a significant life event, or personal difficulty, they feel valued and seen.
According to a study on Emotions, social ties are strengthened, and good feelings are increased when one receives a personalized message or gesture (Algoe et al., 2020). Such actions have a particularly significant effect in professional contexts, as employees who feel appreciated perform better and express greater job satisfaction (Gallup, 2019).
Simple Ways to Personalize Your Interactions:
- Remember Special Dates: Birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones matter.
- Tailor Your Compliments: Be specific about what you admire in someone.
- Follow Up on Previous Conversations: This shows genuine interest.
- Send Thoughtful Messages: A simple “Thinking of you” text can brighten someone’s day.
Personalized interactions demonstrate effort and thoughtfulness, reinforcing a sense of importance and connection.
The Psychological Impact of Kindness and Recognition
There are measurable psychological advantages to kindness. Acts of kindness trigger the brain’s reward centers, which results in heightened enjoyment and decreased stress, according to research from the American Psychological Association (APA, 2020). Additionally, kindness encourages reciprocity; when people feel appreciated, they are more likely to show kindness to others, creating a ripple effect of positivity.
According to a study published in the World Happiness Report, people who perform small but important acts of kindness, like writing a thank-you note or complimenting a friend, report feeling more satisfied with their lives (Aknin et al., 2023).
How to Cultivate a Habit of Kindness:
- Give Genuine Compliments: Sincere praise can lift someone’s mood.
- Express Gratitude Frequently: A heartfelt “thank you” goes a long way.
- Offer Help Without Being Asked: Small gestures can make a big difference.
- Celebrate Others’ Achievements: Acknowledge their successes, big or small.
These actions create an environment of mutual respect and appreciation, fostering strong emotional connections.
Understanding the Importance of Making Others Feel Special
Making someone feel special has significant effects on mental health in addition to elevating their mood. People who feel appreciated have better social relationships, more self-confidence, and reduced anxiety and depression (Lyubomirsky, 2019).
Furthermore, the impacts of feeling special go beyond interpersonal relationships. Motivation, teamwork, and mental health are all enhanced in settings where individuals feel valued and acknowledged in communities, schools, and workplaces (Fredrickson, 2013). We can build a society that is more connected and compassionate by incorporating these ideas into our everyday lives.
Conclusion
Sarah Dandashy’s TEDx talk highlights an essential truth: making someone feel special isn’t about extravagant gestures—it’s about genuine human connection. We may improve our own mental health and the mental health of those around us by practicing active listening, showing compassion, acknowledging others, and making personalized gestures.
The effectiveness of these behaviours is supported by science, which emphasizes how little, considerate acts may have a big influence on relationships and emotional health. We can make the world a happier and healthier place by actively working to make others feel appreciated.
References
Aknin, L. B., Broesch, T., Hamlin, J. K., & Van de Vondervoort, J. W. (2023). Doing good and feeling good: Relationships between altruism and well-being for altruists, beneficiaries, and observers. World Happiness Report. https://worldhappiness.report/ed/2023/doing-good-and-feeling-good/
Algoe, S. B., Dwyer, P. C., Younge, A. J., & Oveis, C. (2020). A little appreciation goes a long way: Gratitude enhances relational connection and satisfaction. Emotion, 20(5), 741-754. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000578
American Psychological Association. (2020). The case for kindness. https://www.apa.org/news/apa/kindness-mental-health
Bodie, G. D. (2017). The role of active listening in interpersonal communication: A meta-analytic review. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34(4), 511-534.
Falk, E. B., & Bassett, D. S. (2017). Brain networks in social cognition. Psychological Science, 28(1), 29-41. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797617711350
Lyubomirsky, S. (2019). The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin.
Zaki, J., & Williams, W. C. (2013). Interpersonal emotion regulation. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 117-138. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-110611-112049
